Facing the girl from his past
I never mentioned that I spent the whole Friday last week at the firing range. I was positioned on the first stage, taking scores of the military personnel who joined the 2-day shootfest. Although the skies were clear and the sun intended to roast us for 8 hours, the wind was cooperative. The weather wasn’t bad at all, so to speak. But I was feeling a little jumpy and hyper. Some absurd feelings probably initiated by seeing “the girl”.
The girl from his past. I’m talking about Fluffy. Some 2 years ago, long before we dated, he went out on a movie with this senior girl. The talk about him and her grew in our office. There were negative feedbacks about the latter. I couldn’t care less. We’re just ordinary buddies. Eventually, their “relationship” was reduced to just being textmates and was finally gone.
I couldn’t help but feel intimidated with the way she looks now. Her long, salon-cared curls, her fair complexion, the way she uses make-up, her over-all seniority. I was never really afraid to confront myself with the qualities I do not have that other people are endowed with. But the what if’s are occasionally nagging me, changing my attitude towards even the clueless Fluffy.
Acceptance, I know is the key. This was never a really big issue for me. And I’m letting it out of my system. That’s why I’m writing about it now. And I know I can only do so much to improve my best qualities.
