Cureless

First of all, I wish you all Happy Holidays!

5 Things I Should’ve Done Before The Break:

• Buy presents
• Finish sampling [thesis]
• Passed long exams
• Play Ragnarok Online
• Visit Riverside Bazaar

Now for the rant…

I totally agree with Aeyan’s points except for the “family” part. Dang! Huhu… I don’t know. My process of discernment isn’t over yet. I’ve been wanting to share with you my plans for myself in the future. But mine’s a very different case. First of all, I have grandparents who’ve raised me since birth. And although they don’t and won’t demand my support in “times when they have to have-someone-wipe-their-ass”, I’d undoubtedly be taking care of them. And although I’ve experience how comforting life can be in the urban since I started college 3 years ago, I wouldn’t be trading it off for my life in the province. (I think this is just how I admire my uncle more than my dad for staying in our hometown and raising my cousins there.)

Comes next is my dilemna, well actually I have 3 choices after I graduate. One, walk along the alleys of the corporate world, as he said. Two, join JVP. And three, be with my grand parents until such time that they’ll be ready to say “farewell”. I think my first two choices could wait. But I’m sure I’d be in deep sense of guilt if I won’t be spending with the two greatest persons of my life their last days. I’m also afraid that I might seem to be in a hurry to “get rid” of them. But no.

I can assure myself that I can survive the life of the farmers and the weavers in our province. Of course, since I’ll be graduating in a “famous” (sorry for the lack of better term) university, people there azwould be expecting me of busying myself getting rich. This is what makes me sad about the rural setting - when people measure “success” on the material things you have - money, house, lifestyle, etc. There’s one thing I wanted to prove to them, one which I can proudly say I learned from the Ateneo.

Sounds like a noble idea, you might say. YOU might even raise your eyebrows. But I’m not cynical. I could say my hopes had grown over the years and I just realized that when I joined this socially-oriented organization is school. (Although the current political and economic situation of the country still depresses me.)

Hah! This brings me back to the idea of immersing myself in the corporate world. No, I’m not saying it’s EVIL. Everything’s just relative, that’s it, RELATIVE. We’re not rich. My parents are working overseas to support the family. And I have 3 younger siblings with me. And if I couldn’t help my parents support the family soon, they might think of me as selfish and apathetic. (Well, I hope not.) There’s also this issue about wasted potential. We know for the fact that companies hire mostly those enthusiastic fresh grads. If I’ll have to spend my first years after graduation with my grandparents or with an org, it would definitely be hard for me to attach myself with the REAL JOB.

Big problem. I still have more than a year to discern and decide.

This entry was posted on Saturday, December 20th, 2003 at 2:06 pm and is filed under Personal, Rants, Raves. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.